| How to Help the Alcoholic Join AA |
How to Help the Alcoholic Join AA
If you live with an alcoholic, chances are good that you want him or her to quit drinking. This is not something that you can just mention in casual conversation when you are talking to someone that thinks that they do not have a problem. If you do, it could cause an argument because most alcoholics do not think that they have a problem. They usually retaliate that you are the one with the problem. You want the person to get help, but it is not easy to do. Most alcoholics do not receive any help until something bad happens. You can do a few things to try to help the person join AA.
Never be forceful or the person is not going to do it. Telling the person that they have to attend AA is not the answer. Even most judges that order a criminal to attend the group are just fooling themselves if they think the person is really trying to quit drinking. A person has to want to help him or herself. You can try to force the person, but this is going to cause more problems than you have already. You may mention it is casual conversation, but if the person does not see what they are doing, chances are, they will resist any conversation.
Offer your support when they need it. If you offer to give the person support and be there when they need you, they will see that you want to help. Often, this does not work as well as you want. Never support their drinking, but support them in the job and if they have any other good points. You have to compliment their good points to get the trust that you need to help them. This can be very hard to especially if you are fed up with the drinking.
Join a group such as Al-Anon so that he or she knows that you are there for them. Tell them that you joined the group because you need help understanding. There is nothing wrong with joining a group and letting them know that you are serious and worried about your life together. Living with an alcoholic is not all rosy, as some would think. The alcoholic does not just drink and pass out. They can be abusive without even knowing what they are doing. This is the saddest part of living with the alcoholic.
Introduce the alcoholic to a member of AA that they might get along with and talk. This one-step can work. If the person gets involved with someone that does not drink and they find something they both like to do, this could curb the drinking. It is not going to stop it, but as you see the difference, you can mention that is so nice to see him or her having fun or enjoying something. This is the first step to maybe getting the person to join AA and meet other people that also have drinking problems and want help.
Threats will not work. If you threaten to leave or take the kids and divorce the alcoholic, you are going to lose. Most alcoholics do not care what you do as long as they have the money to drink and a place to sleep. Then again, threatening to kick the person out will not work either. There is always someone that will allow him to drink. You will lose the battle if you use threats that the person does not care about anyways. Calling the authorities only works for so long as well. After a while the alcoholic will get more upset or leave and never return.
Volunteer to accompany them to the first meeting. If you are lucky enough to get a little cooperation, you can accompany him or her to a meeting. This will show that you do care and want the person to at least give it a try. You can be nonchalant about it because making a big deal will backfire. You have to be careful how you talk and what you sat when you live with an alcoholic. The mood can change in a second and you may never know why.
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